What Do I Do After My Child Gets A Diagnosis?
by Chelsea McNichols, OTR/L,CIMI
No one knows your child better than you do. What if you suspect something more is going on with your child? The first step is usually to bring your concerns up to your child’s pediatrician, who will likely refer you to a developmental pediatrician for an evaluation. Going through the diagnostic process for your child can be overwhelming and scary. We have put together some strategies for coping following the diagnostic process.
Get support
Whether from family, friends, or strangers it is so important to find people you can talk to during this time. They may or may not understand exactly what you’re going through, but their listening ear can take some of the weight off your shoulders.
2. Tune into your feelings and trust your instincts
Acknowledge how you are truly feeling during this process. It is overwhelming to go through any diagnostic process, but even more so when it involves your child. Find a way to truly connect with your feelings - maybe journaling, meditation, or prayer.
3. Allow yourself to grieve
Know that it is okay to feel sad and grieve this diagnosis. Give yourself space to grieve alone and with your spouse, but try to separate it from your time with the child(ren).
4. Advocate
As parents, we have an innate response to advocate for our children. However, when you have a child with a medical diagnosis you have to be willing to advocate on a larger scale. You may be advocating for educational supports & medical services.
5. Connect with therapists that are good for you and your child
Your pediatrician or diagnosing physician will likely recommend therapy for your child, if he or she is not already receiving services. Do your own research on where would be the best fit for your family. Consider location, wait list, reviews from others, and don’t be afraid to switch therapy centers if you try a place that ends up not being a good fit for your family.
6. Celebrate all victories, big and small
Your child is going to make progress at his or her own pace and that is something to be celebrated! Although it’s easy to focus on the big milestones, be sure to celebrate the same ones as well. Each step, big and small, is progress worth cheering over.
7. Join Facebook groups
There are many different Facebook groups available for nearly any diagnosis. Use the search bar to find what you are needing and if there isn’t a group available, don’t be afraid to create one.
8. Find a balance and self-care routine for yourself
What brings you joy? Coffee on the porch? Yoga? Going on a walk? Reading a book? Whatever it is - make sure you are making time for it. Being a parent is a full time job, but it is essential that we remember we can’t pour from an empty cup. You will be at your best when you are feeling your best, so block our time for self-care on your planner!
9. Be excited for what your child is excited about
Most children have a specific interest or topic they enjoy - be it cars, elephants, cardboard boxes, elevators, or Mickey Mouse. Tune into what is most interesting to your child and get equally excited about it. This is the most effective way to build connection with your child - sharing joy.
10. Take time to process the diagnosis and share when you’re ready
You will receive a lot of information after a diagnosis of any kind. Give yourself time to really accept the diagnosis before feeling obligated to share the diagnosis with others. If you choose to do so. Give yourself permission to only share the diagnosis with who you are comfortable sharing with.
Lastly, a few things to always remember - maybe even write them down and put them on your refrigerator!
Your child is not his/her diagnosis, they are exactly who they are meant to be! Do your best to not compare your child to other siblings or peers, and remember your child is on a different journey to achieving the same goals.
In hard moments, remember that your child is not trying to give you a hard time. Your child is having a hard time. Give yourself permission to walk away when things are challenging and come back ready to help problem solve what is giving your child a hard time.
Your child is still the same person you’ve loved all along, and a diagnosis does not change that.
Your child has access to more resources with a formal diagnosis. Look into what options are available in your area for speech therapy, physical therapy, behavioral therapy, and social interaction groups.
About the Author
Chelsea McNichols, OTR/L, CIMI
Chelsea has been practicing as an occupational therapist since 2016 after graduating from Xavier University. She is also a certified TummyTime! Method professional, as well as a Certified Infant Massage Instructor.